Over couple of years I have really started to think about why people explain and make excuses about things. Why? Is it because they want sympathy, or they just don’t want to ever do anything wrong. It is a combination of many things and these are a couple of the reasons.
Do other people like to hear excuse or explanations for something you did. No, most people don’t really care what you talk about most of the time. They just don’t want to hear about why what happened, or why, what you did was the right thing. Or why something happened.
Excuses aren’t positive in any way. I recently read a book by dale Carnegie, the title: How to win friends and influence people. Some ideas that he talks about in his book are that people only care about themselves. Next time you are in a conversation pay attention to this fact, people don’t listen to understand, they listen to answer. In other words, people aren’t interested in what you have to say unless it has to do with them. They aren’t really listening, they are just waiting their turn to tell you what they have to say about themselves. In his book he said, “a way to make someone like you, is to become interested in them and encourage them to talk about themselves.” This goes back to the idea that people only care about themselves.
So if people don’t really want to hear your perspective why would they want to hear you complain, and make excuses.
First of all I love to golf and it is all I ever think about. I dream of becoming a PGA tour player someday. I used get mad because I would never play good, I would just make excuses, saying that “my parents never take me out to practice.”. then later I figured out that the only way to get better was to seek out ways to get better without leaving my home. I would go to a field and hit balls at a tree. This helped for a while until it started to snow. Then I was left indoors, so I got a net and hit balls in my basement for countless hours.
Now, I know you are probably not interested in what I have to say about my life but I want you to just take the message that, you can find ways to do want you want and get better at what you want. You can find a way. It pays off much more to find a way around a problem, than to make an excuse to why you couldn’t solve a problem.